DAY TWO of our 29 Days of Self-Care:
Speak.
Why would I choose this as a way of self-care?
Think about it. We have all been in situations where we are asked what we want, how we feel, what we need, but do we always speak up? It's easy to parrot back habitual responses like 'good, thanks.' or 'fine' but is it actually the truth?
Every day we communicate with others. Every day we use words we learned in childhood to create descriptions of our intentions or desires but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, the real core of how we are feeling or what we need, we don't know what to say. Or we don't feel like we can/should say. Internal thoughts pop up like 'What if I upset them', 'What if that's the wrong answer?', or 'What if they don't actually want to know?'. So we don't. We just plug in the socially acceptable response and change the subject.
Ask yourself: How does this serve you?
Speaking our truth is not always easy as we might not know what to say or how to say it but that definitely doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Relationships are perfect examples to use for this self-care topic: when you are in a relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic or familial, we need to communicate effectively to work together. When your partner asks you if you are ok, they aren't just asking for the sake of asking. They are asking because they WANT to know, oftentimes, NEED to know. No one is a mind reader and it's unfair to treat anyone as if they are. Not being honest in your response is an automatic set up for failure.
We have a firm belief that we must always say what we mean and mean what we say. Even if it's risky at the moment (obviously don't be an asshole) but what's the worst case scenario? You speak your truth and the situation is able to create that needed outcome. Whereas you don't and then you are stuck in a self-perpetuated situation that you are uncomfortable with. All because you chose not to speak your truth. Enough of that. This doesn't serve us.
So practice. Test yourself. Next time you are asked a personal question, think about what your true answer is. Then SPEAK. Share your truth. It might be scary or uncomfortable at first, but in time and with practice, it will become your natural conduction. Be your own advocate.
Thanks for reading amigos, stay tuned for DAY THREE of our 29 Days of Self-Care Series!
xo
Kris